Shock and awe pretty much sums up how I feel right now.  I just got home from an afternoon at the doctor’s and for the first time in 12 years there has actually been improvement in my hearing!

I’ve noticed over the last couple of days that my own voice sounds a little louder than it did and that I seem to be following conversations a little better than I was earlier last week.  I also noticed what seemed to be a slight improvement at church yesterday.  I really wasn’t positive – it’s so subjective and I wasn’t sure if I was just getting used to things, or maybe my hearing aids were being sporadic.  I was pretty sure there was some improvement,  I just wouldn’t let myself count on it until I had a hearing test.  The news was really great today.  I’ve actually regained nearly 25 decibels in some tones!  That means that some of what I lost is back to within a couple of decibels of what it was before this latest episode!  I’ve also noticed an improvement in the distortion.  Voices still sound distorted, but there is some human quality to what I’m hearing again and I can sometimes distinguish whose voice I’m listening to. I do still have losses in some tones from this episode, but what I have regained is definitely helping me.

I had to make some decisions today about how to move forward from this point.  Prior to this appointment, I’d already had 3 steroid injections in my eardrum, and that is the maximum that they generally use.  There is some risk that the hole created in my eardrum by the needle won’t heal.  That risk increases the longer it’s there (they use the same hole for each injection, so it’s been open for nearly a month now).  He did say they can surgically repair that when necessary.  (Interesting side note:  I mentioned that I’m having a lot of problems with feedback with my hearing aids and he said that the hole in the eardrum is probably the cause of that!  I had no idea!)  There are also serious side effects that become more of a risk the longer you are on high doses of steroids.  We had to weigh the benefits and the risks before we decided how to proceed today.  The doctor basically left it up to me.  I decided that it was worth one more injection …something is working this time and even small improvements make a big difference for me and my ability to function at this point.  We’re outside of normal protocol here and there’s no way to know if I will have any additional benefit.  He also told me that I need to be thinking about what  course of action I want to pursue when the next episode occurs.  Again, I need to weigh benefits vs. risk.  The assumption is that these episodes will continue and the next one or two will likely take me into the profoundly deaf range.  I’ll be thinking about that, researching it, and praying about it.  Right now my feeling is why not try?  I guess it could depend on whether the next episode is in 2 years or 2 weeks.  This is new territory for me.  I asked if it’s typical for the improvement when it happens to be stable or if there’s a chance that as soon as we stop treatment it will be gone again.  He said there is no way to know that.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

I’m really almost in shock right now.  I’m very very thankful to God for this blessing and give Him the praise and the glory for what has taken place. I’m thankful for His providence that has brought me to this doctor and for the medical knowledge and skill that he has.   I’m also very thankful for the technology that is available that makes such a difference in my ability to function.  I know that we only have these things because God has allowed it.   I still don’t know what the future holds, but like the saying goes, I know who holds the future.  I’m thankful for the results today.  I’ll be thankful tomorrow, whatever tomorrow brings!

I also want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and your continuing encouragement.  I can’t tell you how much it means to me and how much difference it makes as I continue on this journey.