I’ve been thinking about the idea of where the line is between expressing my needs in any given situation, knowing that most people are not geared to thinking about communication from the perspective of someone who is hard of hearing. Many variables come up where my hearing loss is a big issue (especially in group situations) and on one hand, I think that if I speak up some people would appreciate the reminder and it would simplify things for me and allow me to participate in as much as possible. On the other hand, I realize that everything is NOT about me and it shouldn’t be(and I don’t want it to be). Sometimes, I’m going to miss out no matter what, and that’s okay. I don’t want people to feel badly if they forget and I don’t want to be or become self-centered. I know there’s no hard fast rule that works in every scenario but I’m trying to figure this out in general. I know that because my needs have changed, this is a transition period and I’m guessing that, at least around the people who I spend the most time with, we’ll all kind of find our groove with this. It still is something I need to figure out. There are so many things that even I didn’t know would be problems or challenges until this most recent episode of hearing loss, so I know others around me wouldn’t think of it, either. Maybe it depends on what the “missing out” part actually is. My first thought is that if it’s just about missing out on some fun or general conversation, I should probably just let it go…that would be more from a selfish standpoint of not wanting to miss out, although that stuff is a part of being involved in people’s lives and knowing what’s happening. Maybe when it’s about something more practical, like in a restaurant or an office where I need to be able to interact, then I should be more vocal. Am I just over anlyzing it all, and need to step back and “go with the flow?” I would love to hear some thoughts from those of you reading my blog! I don’t want to be self-centered. I want to be able to function and interact to the best of my ability, too. How do I balance those things?
Jul19
Quiet Insight 
This time of transition, when your friends and acquaintances are first understanding the hearing loss, will be a significant time for education. I don’t think you should feel like it is self-centered to seek clarification or to bring to someone’s awareness that you have this disability. You simply are learning the new rules of communication that will work for you. So, with the people who are part of your everyday life, they can be ambassadors for you, both in reminding others to speak up but also in knowing they have a role in hearing for you at times. It would be nice to know that if you do miss some pieces of conversation, someone close to you will fill you in later with details. This is a way your friends can help. You may need to ask them to assume that role of being ambassadors for you. I wish I was close by as I would certainly be honored to help in that way. What grace you are exhibiting as you adjust to this new way of living. I’m in awe. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the blog.
Ditto what Cynthia said! It is so like you to be concerned about being self-centered. Maybe another way to look at this is that it is an opportunity for your Christian family to bear another’s burdens, treat another as we wish to be treated, to respond to someone else as we would respond to Jesus. Opportunity may sometimes knock, but often we need to be hit over the head with it. You can help us see the opportunities to serve in your situation.
Brenda, I know that I personally would always want you to know what was going on in the conversation if there were, say, 3 or 4 of us. I already find myself glancing your way to see if you’re feeling in the loop of what’s being said-hehe! It is NOT self-centered to want to continue with the involvement and conversations you’re used to with your friends! This is an area where WE will need to adjust to your needs the best we can. Now, in a larger group setting, it’s a bit more complicated. Even with excellent hearing, I get lost often (LOL!) and sometimes a “What was that?” or “Huh?” can mess up the flow for everyone else… So perhaps in that case, you could nudge the person next to you for some help or talk to one of us later. I was thinking how much it would stink for you especially to have a misunderstanding (in either setting) when an important topic was being discussed…such as a family’s situation, Biblical teaching, etc. So really, I would for sure encourage you to speak up more than let things go with confusion…but that’s just my two cents! Love!
Thanks for the input, ladies. I appreciate it.