Over the last few days I have noticed a few things that have made me wonder if my hearing was starting to change again.  Nothing too major, just some odd popping sounds (that happened for a couple of weeks around the time I lost hearing last time) and a few other moments when I thought I might not be hearing as well, but wasn’t sure.  Yesterday morning while I was talking to my daughter, Kinsey, the volume of my own voice definitely went down (and has stayed there).  Not as low as before, but it was a definite indication to me that things are changing again.   I put a call in to the doctor, and am waiting to hear back.  Last appointment, he told me to call if there were any changes in my hearing and he would probably increase my steroid dose and slow down the taper.  I’m guessing that is what will happen when they get back with me today.  It’s got me thinking about things.  If my hearing is only going to stay stable while I’m on steroids,  then maybe I should just let things happen and adjust and move on.  I can’t be on steroids indefinitely, and  it’s been better this past week, but the 2 weeks before that I was noticing a lot of irregular heartbeat episodes (harmless, but to me an indication that this is definitely taking a toll on my system) plus I’m still much more out of breath than normal.  I don’t want to continue to put myself at risk for other more serious problems by taking these steroids for too long.  It would make  a difference in my decision if I could know if my hearing will  be stable for a long period of time or only for a short one.  I guess I’ll see what the doctor says today and will probably continue with the steroids for now,  to see if we can get this stable for a longer period of time.  One of the things that I am hoping won’t happen again is losing the human quality of voices.  It was harder than I would have imagined for everyone to sound so monotone and mechanical and inhuman.  It’s one of the things I’ve enjoyed most and been grateful for …to hear those human qualities in people’s voices once again.  As before, these things are out of my control and I will adjust to whatever happens.  I would appreciate prayers for wisdom regarding these things and for my hearing to be stable.  Also for me to have the right attitude and perspective for whatever the answer is to those prayers.  Thanks!