Today I was thinking about how easy it is to forget things.  How many times have you made some new resolution to improve something about yourself, and made a good start, but gradually over time sort of forgot to make that extra effort and found yourself right back where you started?  Look at what the scriptures have to say about the Israelites.  How often did they experience some wonderful insight, blessing, guidance, or provision from God, and then it seems like almost immediately forget all about it and start complaining? I always wonder how that’s possible when I read about those things, then I realize that we aren’t really any different.  We can experience incredible blessings and provision one day and the next not even be thinking about it any more.  Why is that?  I’d say partly a lack of focus.  We often dwell on the wrong things instead of the right ones.  I’d say lack of time in the Word and in prayer.  If we are spending time reading God’s word, it’s amazing how much difference it makes in our thinking and perspective.  The same thing happens with prayer.  When we take the time to pray, we are also making ourselves focus on the things that matter.  We need that daily renewing of our minds.

I am starting to forget that I’m still in transition with my hearing situation.  I feel like what’s going on now is “normal” and the truth is I’m still functioning without hearing aids.  I believe they will make an enormous difference in most situations for me.  I need to make sure that I don’t make any big decisions about that stuff yet (yesterday I was wondering if I am still suited to be a Bible class teacher if I have trouble understanding my students).

I have people around me who are also great at finding solutions to problems.  Last night was another flock group, and I arrived pretty much accepting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to hear anything.  Chet decided to fix that!  He set up the circle around the microphone and asked everyone to use it when they spoke.  I think some were uncomfortable doing that, but did it for my sake (thank you!) and it’s the first time in years that I have actually heard and understood every person who spoke and what they said!  Chet said it made a difference for him, too.  He has some hearing loss and understands most of the group, but the more quiet ones he hasn’t been hearing either.  I guess I see this as an example of me just resigning myself sometimes to things and having people in my life that are going to do whatever they can to find solutions for me!

Not long before the episode of SSHL in May, I had pretty much decided that it was no longer practical for me to go to the movies.  Most theaters have assistive listening devices (ASLs) and I’ve been using them for several years.  They give you volume control and put the sound directly in your ears (with headphones) and that definitely helps, but the quality isn’t always good and I still was struggling to follow all of the dialog.  The last movie I saw at the theater was The Avengers.  It should have been the best possible scenario for me to be able to follow the dialog.  It was mostly male voices (in lower tones) and there wasn’t much overlapping talking or sounds.  I still missed about half of what was being said even with an ASL.  I basically decided after that that it was a waste of money for me to go to the theater and that I would enjoy seeing a movie much more and be less frustrated if I would just wait for it to come out on DVD and use the captions.  Since my recent hearing loss, that seemed like a no brainer!  I was doing some research for my ASL class and found some information about options at movie theaters for the hearing impaired.  There is a lot out there that I was completely unaware of!  I found a website called www.captionfish.com that lists theaters in your area that have special accessibility options.  I found out that there are theaters in my area that offer CC (closed captioning – I’m still not sure if they show them for certain shows, of if you have to request that they turn them on for a particular showing, or how that works), OC (open captioning   are on all the time), DV (descriptive video – this is for the visually impaired people and describes the scenes and faces and expressions of people, etc), CV (CaptiView closed captioned – a small display screen attaches to your drink holder and has a visor for privacy so you can place it directly in front of you and see captions), and RW – (rear window captioning – a clear plexiglass screen attaches to your chair and you can put it directly in front of you and watch the movie through it …it puts the captions at the bottom of the screen and can only by seen by you – no one else is affected by it).  I was really excited when I found out about these things!  Our anniversary is coming up later this month and I told Chet that I would love to go to lunch and then to a theater that offers the RW and give it a try (if there are any decent movies out then)!  I suspect that there are many more ways of coping and communicating that I am still unaware of and maybe I’m forgetting about the fact that I still need to educate myself more about these things!  There really is a whole world out there that I was basically unaware even existed – the problems and challenges that the deaf and hard of hearing face as well as the technology and other solutions to those situations.

I want to end with a sweet moment from my life that I’ve been thinking about this week.  Several years ago Chet and I were having a conversation.  I think it was right after the doctor first told me that it is within the realm of possibility that I would eventually completely lose my hearing.  I was telling Chet that so often in movies when there’s a character that has something life changing happen – a terminal illness, paralysis, blindness, etc. – they choose not to tell their spouse or fiance or best friend.  They might break up with a fiance and make up some excuse that’s not the true reason for breaking up.  Somehow they think they are “sparing” that person from dealing with the situation.  I always thought that was so dumb – of course you want to be honest with the people you love the most and of course they are going to want to support you and help you and of course it should be their decision!  When I was talking about this with Chet at that time, I told him that it surprised me, but I did actually have one moment (a brief one!) when I had the feeling of “he didn’t sign up for this” and I felt bad that it was going to and was affecting his life, too.  He looked me right in the eye and said “I did, too.”  I asked him what he meant and he replied, “I did sign up for this.  I married you, and “signed up” to spend the rest of my life with you, whatever that means.  I ABSOLUTELY DID sign up for this.”  Still makes me tear up to think about it.  I married a wonderful man and am incredibly blessed having him in my life.