Last night was my meeting with Debbie Lawrence, the instructor of our Easy Signing class that several of us took last year. She and I have stayed in touch. We are teacher and student but have also become friends. When I updated her about the latest changes in my hearing and asked for suggestions about spending time with more people who are proficient at signing, she offered to meet with me and work with me one on one. I certainly wasn’t expecting that, but I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it.

We met in a hotel lobby last night that was centrally located (about a 40 min. drive for each of us!) and we ended up spending over 3 1/2 hours together! We chatted and caught up, we talked about various challenges I have come across and possible solutions, we went over some new vocabulary, we signed to each other during much of the time and we discussed getting together again next week and what I could be working on before then! All in all, it was lots of fun, very encouraging, great practice, and very practical!

Debbie mentioned to me that she noticed that my voice is changing. Chet also mentioned that to me. I appreciate honest (but kind) input about those types of things because if I know they are happening, then I can try to find ways to work on it. I always ask people to let me know if the volume of my voice is too loud or too soft, so I can learn what “normal” volume feels like. Debbie gave me some tips about how to enunciate my words and where in my chest/throat to try to project from so that my voice will continue to sound as normal as possible. I thought that was really good feedback and information for me.

She also talked to me about some possible solutions to being startled when people come home each day. Since I don’t hear any of the usual sounds of the door opening or someone walking around upstairs or even calling out a greeting, it often startles me to be home alone and then suddenly there is someone standing right next to me or touching my shoulder to let me know they are there! They have tried ringing the doorbell a time or two, which does flash lights and alert me that the doorbell rang, but I don’t really want that to be the signal, because then I feel like I need to see if someone is at the door and I need to answer it. I could also see starting to ignore that if it’s just letting me know someone is home, and then not answering the door sometime when there is a visitor there. Anyhow, Debbie suggested having them flash the light in the entryway when they walk in. Because my back is usually to that area in the evenings, it might get my attention and it might not. We’ll have to see. She also suggested having them stomp in the entry. I might be able to feel the vibrations. Another suggestion was that even if I still was unaware, walking up to me from behind, but to the side and without touching me, is less startling. I am likely to see the movement from my peripheral vision and maybe have a little heads up.

Another situation we discussed is closed doors. I was at someone’s house this week who has a crawling infant and the bathroom door was shut. I didn’t know if it was shut to keep the baby from going in there or if someone was in there. Even if I knock, I can’t hear any response, so it doesn’t help. In that situation I’m probably just going to have to look around and see if anyone if missing. If so, I may have to ask about it. A possible solution could be for people to know that if they are in there they should lock the door and then if I try and it’s locked I’ll know it’s occupied. Another closed-door scenario has been Cody’s room. There are days he is in his room studying and has the door shut. I’ve needed to ask him a question, but again, if I knock, I can’t hear the reply. I’ve been kind of very slowly letting myself in so that he had time to shut the door before I saw anything if he was changing clothes or something, but that’s obviously not a great solution. Debbie had a good suggestion for that, too. She said that we can come up with whatever code we want to, but one she knows of would be that everyone in our household knows that if I knock on a door I am going to need to open it a foot or so but that I won’t look in. Cody (or whoever) could have some socks or something that they could throw or roll over by the door. When I see that, then I know they are giving me permission to enter. Pretty slick! I don’t think I would have thought of that!

I shared with her a lot of the things that I now am starting to see and understand differently than I did before. One is how much difference being animated when you use sign language really does make. Already, I can see how much that brightens up conversations and makes things more interesting. It does get boring/monotonous when you hear nothing and I can easily see how the number stories and letter stories we learned many deaf people enjoy would be fun and are something that a deaf person can fully participate in! Anything that adds a little fun and “color” really brightens up the day.

One thing I realized last night after our meeting was that I’ve been pretty focused on coming up with ways to make the things I’m used to doing work for me now. That’s good and needed. I also realized that maybe it’s time to be thinking about completely different and new activities that we can do together with family and friends that are of a nature that I can fully participate in, too, without all the extra effort. Chet and I were talking about that today. There are games like Guesstures and Pictionary that would be easy or good old-fashioned charades. I’m sure we’ll think of other ideas, but that is a slight shift in my thought process. I think it’s a good direction to be headed in.

Overall, my meeting with Debbie did me a world of good. I’m so thankful to have her for a friend and to have her as an advocate during such a major transition in our lives. She is taking time out of her very very busy schedule (she works full-time, plus teaches multiple ASL classes in the evenings) to help me and be there for me and I appreciate it!

I’m a thankful lady today!