Only a few more days to go until surgery!  It has been a very stressful and exhausting couple of weeks.  There have been quite a few things that needed my attention (in addition to all of the surgery-related items) but it is starting to reach the point where I’ve done all I can to take care of those things, and the rest is out of my hands. I am  not going to allow myself to dwell on the things out of my control.   I have really had to work hard at being calm and not letting my anxiety get the better of me this week. It didn’t help that I had a couple of hormone days right in the worst of it!  I had to force myself to stop, pray, have a cup of tea and take some deep calming breaths (I also added some calming essential oils to my palms to breathe in!).  It helped.  That is not typical for me, so I am thankful that I am feeling a little calmer and less anxious now.

 I had my pre-op physical with my primary care doctor on Tuesday.  It was a long appointment where we discussed my health history in depth and she gave me the green light on the surgery.  There are some vaccinations required for this procedure and there was a mix up and I was given the wrong version of one, but it is fine and won’t delay my procedure.  I had a breathing test and an EKG and both were normal.

 I also had my appointment with the PAC team (anesthesia evaluation) on Thursday, and everything is cleared with them as well.  My surgeon told me to take my CPAP with me to the appointment and that they would likely want to see it and make sure they were ready for various things on their end.  I saw 4 different professionals at that appointment and made sure they were aware that I have severe sleep apnea and that is one of the two main reasons my surgeon set up the appointment, but they all basically said “Ok” and “make sure you take the CPAP to the hospital in case you spend the night.  They’ll want you to use it when you sleep”  They seemed puzzled that I had it with me then.  Oh well.  Chet assured me that I don’t need to worry about that – they will make sure I can breathe one way or another after surgery!

We found out that cochlear implant surgery is considered a same day surgery by insurance companies and you can’t plan an overnight stay ahead of time.  It is officially listed as an outpatient surgery and then the doctor will have to decide after the procedure if she feels I need to be admitted. I’ll be taking an overnight bag as this is the most likely scenario!  Surgery is bright and early Wednesday morning, Nov. 13.  We have to be at the hospital (University which is downtown Minneapolis) at 5:45am!  They told me that the free valet parking opens at 5am so we’re in luck! 🙂  It will save us a long walk on a cold morning!  My procedure is scheduled to begin at 7:45am and it is on the schedule as a 4 hour procedure.  I’m sure that can vary, but it will be somewhere in that ballpark.  One part of the conversation with the anesthesia team I found interesting had to do with the “what to expect” part of the conversation.  They said that they will start an IV (possibly 2) before and will have me breathe from a mask in addition to injecting meds to put me to sleep.  They said that part goes quickly.   Then they will insert a breathing tube.  Here’s the interesting part – they will rouse me enough to respond to hearing my name while the tube is still in place, then see if I can cough before they take it out!  I reminded them that I won’t be able to hear them saying my name!  You would think that enough cochlear implant procedures have been done at this hospital that there would be protocol in place for how to handle that.  We talked about some signs, or whatever.  It surprised me that we would need to come up with solutions for that!  Maybe once we are there, the team with me will be well versed in how to handle that!  They said that once I can cough, then they will take the tube out and send me to the recovery room.  I won’t remember any of that, though, because there is also an amnesiac in the medication.  It is a very weird thing for me to imagine whatever will have to happen for me to barely be coming out of a deep drugged sleep and understand without being able to hear that they want me to wake up and cough, and then having no memory of the whole scenario at all!  I guess that’s their problem, but it is a strange thought for me.  The surgeon told me she will likely use a compression bandage on my head because of the blood thinners, so that is a much tighter and more uncomfortable bandage than would normally be used.  Maybe she will reconsider if bleeding doesn’t seem to be a big issue at the time.  I’m not sure.

 Obviously I am now thinking about some of the specifics of what will happen but I still don’t feel nervous about it.  My job is easy – be there on time, go to sleep, and do what they tell me after I wake up!  I can’t say I won’t feel a little nervous at the time, but I don’t think I will be overly anxious.  i trust that God is in control and know that worrying really won’t make any difference at all in what happens.  I’m okay with that.  The anesthesiologist asked about past problems with anesthesia, and the only one I remember (my last time was 19 years ago!) was warning them that I am extremely prone to nausea and even though they gave me anti-nausea meds, I still woke up heaving.  The doctor on Thursday assured me that the drugs are much better now for that than they were 19 years ago and they put that in my notes with a big asterisk so I think it will be fine!  I’m happy about that.  That is actually one of the worst parts for me!

The plan for managing my Coumadin requires that I stop taking it 5 days before the procedure, so last night was the first night I skipped it!  Seems strange and also kind of wild that after all of the stuff that has gone on, we are only 5 days away from surgery! 

I’m trying to think about how to describe how I’m feeling right now.  I don’t really feel nervous about surgery.  I am excited that it is finally almost time!  It’s been a long time coming.  In some ways, it feels like only having one side done isn’t such a big change, but I know that it actually is a very big one.  There is nothing I’m giving up by going this route.  My remaining hearing will stay in tact.  The ear we are implanting gets a little bit of sound, but it is so distorted that it hasn’t been considered usable in years.  That’s why I had a bi-cross hearing aid before the last two hearing loss episodes – it bypassed that ear completely since it couldn’t be helped with a hearing aid.  I got by with only the other ear for several years, so it’s hard for me to imagine what it will be like to have input from both sides again.  I suspect it will make a bigger difference in my quality of life than I realize.  The concept of being able to hear better is still kind of a vague and broad idea – I know it will be amazing, it is just hard to imagine what the reality will actually be like.  I have become accustomed to this level of hearing loss and am a very good lip-reader so I am able to follow most conversation when it is one on one and I can lip read.  Sometimes I forget how important that component is, though.  It only takes someone turning their head slightly to the side, or moving their hands in front of their face while they speak, or bad lighting where I can’t see clearly and I completely lose what is being said.  I haven’t been able to recognize the direction of sound in years either.  I sometimes hear a noise or someone say my name, but have to look in every direction to see who it was because I have no idea.  I imagine that will change.  It’s hard to understand how the brain can take a completely new type of input than it has ever had and recognize that it is sound and then learn how to make sense of it – all without any conscious effort on your part.  There is a conscious effort on your part to help with the process, but ultimately the brain does the work.  Our God created an absolutely amazing organ  to have those kind of capabilities along with everything else it does!  Wow!  What a creator we have!

I’m not sure if I will post again before surgery or not.  There isn’t really anything else happening before that day.   I will do my best to keep you all posted on my thoughts and feelings as well as the facts of what is happening as my cochlear implant journey begins!  I want those impressions recorded for myself as well and I think it is important to write it as I feel it so I don’t forget.  It will be fun to read back over later and see how much has happened and how far I will have come!  Every journey is unique and I can’t wait to see how my story unfolds!

Please keep me and my family in your prayers as this big change approaches.  Please thank God for all of His guidance up until this point, and ask that all goes well with my procedure – that it will be a 100% success and there will be NO complications.  Please pray that my recovery will also go well, and that there won’t be any problems at all with payment by the insurance company.  Thanks for your love and support!