It’s been a while since my last post.  That was initially because of how much was going on and the need I had to regroup after everything.  Then it was because I really couldn’t think of much to say.  Nothing much was happening in the hearing department and I was surprised to find that I didn’t really have much else to share that I thought anyone would be interested in.  I’ve thought several times during this interval how interesting it is that when we are going through a trial or “crisis” our minds are so focused on what’s really important and we are thinking those deep “profound” kind of thoughts more often than we do when life is running along smoothly. That’s another reason why trials are a blessing.  

As far as my health goes, I am feeling well.  I continue to work on healthy eating and exercising and it’s going great.  I was so pleased to weigh in after our cruise and find out that I had lost 2.6 lbs between two days before the wedding and the day I weighed in right after the cruise!  My plan definitely worked!  As of this week, I have officially lost 30 lbs. since the beginning of June and am now back to the weight I was when I started the steroids last year.  That is a mental milestone for me! I still have a long ways to go, but I feel much better!  I have found that I love to swim and there is also a machine at the gym that I enjoy and doesn’t hurt my feet.  It’s like a recumbent bike, only the pedals are more like the foot pedals on an elliptical machine and there are moving “poles” for the arms like an elliptical machine also.  I alternate between the machine and swimming most days to work out.  I also have found that for the first time ever I do not dread working out most days.  I actually enjoy it!  It feels good to move my body and know I am doing something good for my health.  I have heard of that before, but honestly never experienced it for myself.  I think that even under the guidance of a trainer a few years ago I was still working at too hard of a level for where I was.  Right now I am working out for 30 minutes 4-5 times a week.  I usually stay in a fat burn zone (per my doctor’s recommendation) and occasionally bump that up to a cardio zone.  It just doesn’t feel that hard, but at this point it is clearly effective for me.  That may change as I lose weight and get more fit, but for now I’m not going to mess with a successful formula 🙂  I absolutely love my phone app “myfitnesspal.”  I record everything and have really found that there are lots and lots of foods that I enjoy and that will fill me up and still stay within my calorie range.  I have only had 3 or 4 days since I started that I was still hungry after my calorie limit was reached.  I’m learning what types of calories work best for me and how to spread them out throughout my day so that I stay fueled and have good energy.   I have been very pleasantly surprised at how many restaurants have “skinny” menus and great options that won’t break the calorie bank.  I am also finding that I can occasionally have meals where I’m not counting the calories and that as long as it doesn’t happen too often, it doesn’t hurt my weight loss goals.  I am purposely trying to keep my weight loss at around 2 lbs. per week.   I don’t want to lose too rapidly, I just want to keep a slow, steady, doable pace going.  

I have reached a point with my hearing situation where I am going to have to make a decision soon regarding having cochlear implant surgery or going with a hearing aid and lip reading for a while longer.  It is a difficult decision to make.  On the one hand, I am doing pretty well with a hearing aid and lip reading.  I have adjusted to this level of hearing loss and am functioning pretty well.  I have the technology in place that I need to make up for the things I am unable to hear and in quiet environments I am following most of what is said.  The lip reading part of that equation is crucial.  If a person is speaking to me and turns their head even a little, if the lighting is bad and their face is in shadow, if they speak with their hands a lot and their hand passes in front of their face or their mouth is obstructed in any way I cannot understand what is being said.  I am having to turn my hearing aid down to lower volume settings now than I did before.  I don’t know why.   It could be a technical issue.  It could be that the hole in my eardrum is affecting volume to some extent.  It could be that I am getting that much better at lip reading.   It could be that people around me are speaking louder to me.  Maybe there has been slight improvement, although that really is the least likely possibility.  I had basically decided that natural hearing is always going to be better than artificial, and if I am functioning well now, then I should wait on the surgery.  I spoke with an audiologist yesterday and he said that his opinion is that I would do much better with cochlear implants.  There are no guarantees, but most people who have poor results with them are people who have been deaf for years.  At this time, I am still fairly young (yep, 50 is still considered fairly young!) and would probably tolerate the surgery better and adapt more readily to the many adjustments involved in CIs than someone who is older would.  If they were successful for me, I would have more time to reap the benefits.  The downside is that it’s expensive and there is quite a lot to go through between the surgery and a year or two of mapping and adjusting before you are generally at maximum benefit.  It’s possible that I would do great but it’s also possible that I would end up the same as now or even worse.  Ultimately, the decision is mine (and Chet’s) and I have to live with the consequences either way.  I’ll probably speak with the insurance company soon to nail down the actual cost as much as possible.  Then I will likely post a list of pros and cons and things I have thought of to consider and solicit your advice, help, and prayers as I try to look at everything I need to to  make the best decision possible.  I can choose to have the surgery at any point, but feel the need to decide soon because I have been using a “loaner” hearing aid during this interim where I had to postpone surgery because of the blood clots.  I should know after my follow up on Oct. 28 whether my clots are gone and whether I will continue a drug to prevent more clots for the long term or not.  Then I either need to get the surgery going, or buy a new hearing aid if I choose to go that route.  

As always, once I sit down to blog I seem to find a lot to say.  Thanks for checking in and for your input and prayers!  It is always encouraging to me.  I’m very thankful to be doing well whatever path I end up going down with this!  

 I  am amazed at all that has taken place recently for me.  My last post was made the day my mother-in-law and father-in-law arrived for Cody’s wedding.  Since that day I’ve participated in another ASL class, helped out a little with a wedding, done a lot of cleaning and meal planning for company, hosted many family dinners and gatherings while everyone was in town, participated in all of the wedding festivities, spent time with a dear friend who came especially to make the wedding cake, had 8 people stay at our house for the big day and a few of the days surrounding it, witnessed a truly romantic and beautiful wedding – two christians coming together according to God’s plan (and my son’s dreams coming  true)  celebrated my niece’s 18th birthday, caught up with all of my nieces and nephews birthday gifts, and packed and organized a vacation to Alaska…..all while trying to keep up with my workouts and keeping my health goals in mind.   Whewwww….I was ready for a vacation and it was wonderful to have some down time!  Alaska was incredibly beautiful!  I understand now why people make multiple trips there.  I loved it!  This trip was a good mix of relaxing down time and exploring a new area for me.   We had 3 at sea days on the ship and we went on 2 excursions.  There were 2 days in between the excursions, so I was able to recuperate which made a big difference.  I put a lot of thought into how I wanted to handle the trip as far as my health goals are concerned.  My decision was to commit to 2 workouts during the cruise.  The amount of walking that we do on the ship and on the excursions is far more than I am accustomed to at home, so I knew that I would be burning many more calories than normal and also that I would need to be careful about finding the right balance of activity and rest for my joints and feet.  I have found that even walking 2 days in a row at home for workouts causes a great deal of pain for me and it takes a few days to recover from that.  That’s why the pool is a great option for me right now.  I do not have pain after pool workouts.  Anyway, in the past, I really haven’t ever gained a tremendous amount of weight on cruises even though I didn’t workout at all and I have never watched calories on a trip either.  I think the extra activity goes a long ways to make up for the extra calories for me.  In addition to my workout commitment for this trip, I decided to make sure that I get in most of the healthy foods (the right portions of fruits, vegetables and whole grains and protein) and then to allow myself to have whatever else I wanted as long as I didn’t go too overboard on that. I ran my plan by several people before the trip and they all agreed it sounded like a reasonable plan.  I haven’t weighed yet, but I think that based on how my clothes are fitting I did not gain weight on the trip.  I will weigh at the gym today.  I  feel good about how I handled it.  I did exactly what I planned to do and still enjoyed myself and the food that is such a big part of cruising. I did have a lot of joint and foot pain from so much walking, but I did my workouts on a recumbent bike (thanks for the suggestion, Samantha!) and it worked great and did not add to the pain I was already dealing with.  We also did a 2 mile hike on one of our excursions and I was pleased that I was able to do that without any problem at all.  I did have to let my feet recover the next day, but I expected that.  Overall, it was a wonderful week and a much needed break from all that has been going on!  We arrived home late Wednesday night, and yesterday we got right back on our plan and I am once again logging in my calories and making sure I meet my goals.  That was an important step for me.  In the past, it didn’t take much of a deviation from my plan to completely “fall of the wagon.”  This time, I feel I managed some pretty major events in a healthy way and it didn’t sidetrack me.  I’m thankful for that.  

I am also glad that I still have my vena cava filter in place.  So much travel can make you prone to forming clots, and the last morning on the ship I woke up to my heart beating more rapidly than normal and a few twinges of pain in areas that could possibly be clots.  I don’t know for sure if there were actually more clots  or if old ones were moving or if they were just random twinges that didn’t mean anything, but it gave me some peace of mind to know that filter was in place just in case, and no clots could get to my lungs.  

I developed a pretty nasty ear infection the day of the wedding.  I ended up going to urgent care that night since I was planning to fly only a few days later.  It was on the side that I am using my hearing aid on (of course) which is also the side with the hole in the eardrum.  Since that is the side that I am using to hear with, I felt it was especially important to get it treated right away.  I was surprised that it took as long as it did to resolve.  I had a 5 day antibiotic prescription and it wasn’t until the day after I took my last dose that my ear pain was gone and I was able to wear my hearing aid again.  For me to go 4 or 5 days without a hearing aid is a significant thing.  The first night of the cruise my friends were typing on their cell phones to help me have an idea of what they were talking about.  As you know, I am functionally deaf without the hearing aid.  I really appreciated their efforts and was reminded again how blessed I am to have such wonderful and supportive friends.

The ship website offered a kit for deaf/hard of hearing people that could be installed in your stateroom.  They asked for 45 days notice if you wanted to request one.  I requested it only 2 weeks before our trip, knowing that it was short notice and might not happen, but I thought it was worth a try.  They did install it in our cabin.  In theory, it was a wonderful idea and could be a great help.  The reality was that we weren’t able to use any of it all.  The alert system was only connected to a bed shaker, so if the alarm clock went off it would shake the bed (that is great and works) but also if the phone rang, or someone knocked on the door, or an announcement was made it would shake the bed, but not flash any lights.  That is not practical unless I want to spend my entire cruise in bed!  They also said that part of the kit was an amplified phone.  It was actually a TTY.  I have only seen one once before and it was in a file cabinet in a storage room.  I was told they are considered obsolete.  I have no idea how exactly to use one.  They left an instruction book, but it looked a little complicated and more than I wanted to deal with for a week long trip – especially when I wasn’t likely to ever use one again.  The sensor on the door that alerted the system was very sensitive.  It was to the point that the shaker was going off about every 5 minutes….we just shut it all off.  I was disappointed, but did appreciate some effort on their part.  I wrote a lengthy comment and some suggestions on the post- cruise survey about the system.  Maybe they will improve their equipment and how it functions.  

Over the next week or so I will be spending most of my time getting my house clean and organized again after all of the company and after being away for a week.  The most urgent items are getting taken care of first (like paying bills and figuring out what groceries we have and need and doing laundry, washing dishes…) and the rest can be done a little bit at a time.  

I’m afraid to say that things should settle down now!  Seems like every time I think that, more stuff happens.  I guess that’s normal life.  I look back over the past year and all that has taken place and am amazed at how much we’ve dealt with.  I guess if you knew ahead of time it would be overwhelming, but like anything else in life, you just take it a day at a time and do the best you can and you get through it.  I’m thankful for God’s guidance and wisdom in these things and for the strength that comes from Him and from brothers and sisters in Christ.  I’m also thankful for those times and the perspective and insight you gain from those situations and the molding and shaping that takes place.  We all need trials and challenges.  I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had this past year.

Over the last week I’ve had several follow ups regarding my sleep apnea and my blood clots.  Last week I saw the lung specialist who ordered the sleep study for the first time since my hospitalization.  We went over the results of the study, plus my CPAP machine has a smart card and they dowload data from it and print a report on that info!  Pretty cool.  She told me that I have severe sleep apnea – anything over 30 AHI (the index of apnea – pauses in breathing, added to hypopnea – obstructed shallow breathing) is considered severe sleep apnea.  My AHI was 103!  The data from the smart card showed that I have used my machine every night since I’ve had it (A+ for me!) and that with treatment my index dropped to .1 AHI.  It is doing the job quite well!  She was extremely pleased with the results and also with the weight loss I’ve had.

 I met with my thrombologist today to go over the results of my latest echocardiogram and leg ultrasound.  My heart is doing much better!  That was great news.  Apparently it was in pretty bad shape before – there is some kind of back pressure that takes place from the lungs to the heart when you have lungs full of clots.  I saw on the intake sheet the nurse was working with as she checked me in, that it said “extensive PE” which stands for pulmonary embolism or clots in the lungs.  Anyhow, my lung clots have cleared up and my heart is doing much better.

 The ultrasound showed that I still have some clots in my legs.  The doctor wasn’t entirely surprised by this.  He said it can take some time for them to completely resolve in the legs.  He wants to keep me on blood thinners for 3 more months, then do another ultrasound and follow up.  We’ll discuss long term options and risks then.  It sounds like there’s a pretty good chance he will recommend that I stay on blood thinners long term.  He said that often when you have clots, there is something specific you can point to as the cause, like a broken leg or surgery or something like that, and in those cases, 3-6 months treatment is sufficient and the risk is low of developing more.  In cases like mine where there is no specific known cause, the risk of developing more is a little higher and that’s when they consider keeping you on the drugs to lower that risk.  There are also genetic factors in my family and the minor heart defect I mentioned before are also things that are a part of the picture of my future risk.  We’ll discuss the options at our next visit and get into more detail about that.

 We also talked about the CI surgery and what this means for that.  Basically, I will need to wait until after the next appt so at least another 3 months.  If I continue taking this medication long term, then we can work with it around the surgery if/when I decide to have it.  It might involve doing some of the shots again and stopping the drug for a few days, but he said it can be done with fairly low risk.  Also, we discussed having my trap removed.  He would prefer it not be in there too long and feels I’m to a point now where it can be safely removed.  I’ll probably wait until after the wedding and our trip, but then schedule it sometime in the next couple of months.  It’s a fairly simple outpatient procedure – basically the same as putting it in place.  He said they go in through the neck to retrieve it.

 We talked about a few other items, too.  He told me that I should try to keep my heart in the fat burn zone rather than the cardio zone at this point when I workout and gave me some tips about that. We discussed the possible connection between all of this and my hearing loss.  He doesn’t really know of anything in his field that would explain it either.  Oh well – it was worth asking.

 I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks that any time I blow my nose I hear air whistling through my ear!  That’s not normal and made me wonder if I had a hole in my eardrum.  My hearing specialist told me that one of the possible complications of the steroid injections in the eardrum is that the hole from the needle might not heal but they could do a procedure to fix it if necessary.   That is what my guess was as to what’s going on.  I asked the doctor I saw today if he would be willing to take a look and see if there is a hole in my eardrum  and sure enough there is.  He wouldn’t speculate as to what caused it, but I feel confident that is what it is.  I guess I’ll contact the hearing doc about that tomorrow.  I’ve been swimming for exercise and love it and I’m guessing they’ll make me stop until that’s healed, which will be a bit of a bummer for me.  Hopefully we can work around it.

Chet was able to go with me to my appointment and later we discussed some of the pros and cons of having the CI surgery at this point.  Originally, I was planning to go for it.  I could see no reason to wait.  Now, I’m leaning more towards waiting.  It turns out that I’m functioning better than I anticipated when I add lip reading to trying to listen with a hearing aid.  It’s still not a no brainer in my opinion.  I could lose the rest of my hearing tonight.  It could be days or weeks or years.  There’s no way to know.  With the new things that have happened and the treatment I’m getting, it doesn’t seem like quite as much of a forgone conclusion that I will lose more hearing soon.  If the clots or what’s causing them have anything to do with it being on blood thinners might make a difference.  If the lower oxygen levels during my sleep over the last years before I knew I had sleep apnea were a contributing factor, then it might make a difference.  Maybe the natural hearing I still have is better than the best result I would have with CIs.  Maybe I would hear better than I have in years with CIs.  Right now, Chet and I are leaning toward going ahead and ordering a new hearing aid for the side that is helping the most.  I don’t want to do the bicross again.  It’s been long enough since my last hearing aid purchase that our insurance will cover another one.  I will use it for as long as it helps me and then if I have another episode, it will clearly be time to move ahead with the CIs.  We may change our minds, but that’s what we are leaning toward at this point.

That’s pretty much the update.  Still have a ways to go, but things have improved greatly and it was all good news!   Thanks for your prayers!  

Yep, I used the term “hunky dory.”  Got your attention, didn’t it?  🙂  Just got back from my ASL class and it went great.  I am really enjoying it.  I get teased by my family about talking to myself (I’m actually thinking out loud rather than talking TO myself) and I realized on the drive home that I was doing that in ASL!  I guess that’s a good thing!   I really didn’t realize initially that I was doing it.  I still have a very long ways to go to communicate effectively in ASL, but I am starting to get a small base to work from, and it helps tremendously.  I still need lots of help coming up with the signs for the words I want to say, but it’s coming along.  It makes me want to practice practice practice.

The diet and exercise plan is really going great.  I’ve lost 16.3 lbs so far.  I can tell that my heart is already responding to the exercise in a positive way.  I am having to work a little harder to get my rate up to 130 whereas before, I was constantly having to work to get it DOWN to there! It is also recovering much more quickly when I do need to stop and let it go down.  Still have a long ways to go, but I’m really feeling good about it all so far.  I have been very surprised at how easy this has bee so far.  A friend recommended an app (thanks Louise!) that has helped me tremendously!  It keeps a running total of your calories so you always know how many you have used and how many you have left.  It also can search for the calorie content of foods or you can scan the UPC codes right into your phone.  I love that feature!  You can also find many restaurant foods on it which helps with planning meals out.  Overall, this is very doable for me and is working well.

I found some very interesting information today online.  I am signed up for “My Chart” with my clinic where you can access your test results and things online.  I was going through some of that stuff today and saw that the results of the heart stress test I had in 2010 were on there.  I was reading through the results and saw that they found something called an “atrial septal aneurysm.”   From what I gathered from various articles I googled on the topic, it seems that it is something that might not cause you any problems, but can make you more susceptible to strokes and that it has been linked with  several health problems, including clots in your arteries .  It looks like it is tends to run in families and is basically a mild abnormality of the heart.  There was one article that said there’s a possible link to blood clots in your whole system.  When I had they test done, they told me that everything looked normal.  No one mentioned this at all.  It might not be anything , but the information I read was enough to make me feel kind of excited that this might have something to do with all of the stuff that has happened.  I could definitely be wrong, but it’s worth asking the doctor about when I go later this month.  Who knows?

I’m thinking about Cody and Jessi’s upcoming wedding every day now!  I’m really getting excited.  Jessi and I got to spend some time together visiting yesterday, and it was so nice.  She and I have a friendship of our own, in addition to the fact that she’ll soon be my daughter-in-law and I love that!  Final details are in the works and I’m looking forward to a beautiful day of celebrating the beginning of a new family and the start of their life together.

It seems like lately things have been so busy in my life!  It feels nice for it to settle down just a bit!  I’m enjoying some down time now- it won’t last.  I was thinking this morning that this week and next is a little break before things get busy again, and I was trying to figure out when it would all settle back down.  I decided after August is when it would cease to be busy, then I realized that maybe it will always be busy and I should just enjoy these short little breaks!  It seems like every time I think things will settle down into “normal” again something new comes along,  I guess that IS normal.  These “breaks” however, are when I need to and try to focus on deep cleaning my house and getting some of the many outstanding projects at home done….I guess life is always a certain amount of busy!  Makes me appreciate those moments each day when we can “be still and know that I am God,” and when I can enjoy something simple like a cup of coffee or an hour or two visiting with a friend.  I guess this is an area where thinking small is a good thing!  

I’m happy to report that so far my hearing seems stable.  There hasn’t been any “popping” lately, although I have noticed when I blow my nose there is a whistling sound in one ear – I hope that is just some fluid or congestion working it’s way through.  

I attended the ASL class I mentioned before on Tuesday and really enjoyed it.  It will be great practice for me and a good opportunity to learn a little bit more.  This class is a Tier 1 Level I class for all ages.  There were about 15 people there, and they ranged in age from around 10 to around 65!  Almost the entire class was conducted with “no voice.”  It was nice to already know some basics and not be quite so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING being new.  It gave me some confidence and gave me the opportunity to focus on the things that were new to me.  Debbie had a deaf co-teacher that night and I spent some time talking with her after class.  Before, I was really shy and nervous to try to talk to a deaf person, but this time I really didn’t even have to get up my nerve at all.  There were a lot of things I would have liked to say but didn’t know how, and there were a lot of things that I had to tell her I didn’t understand that she said, but overall we had a fairly long conversation and did communicate!  She had rubella when she was 2 years old and that’s how she became deaf.  She was put in a public school until she was 12, then a deaf friend’s mom found a deaf school and she learned ASL at that time.   She told me how difficult those public school years were – she was treated like she was dumb because she didn’t do well but it was mainly because she didn’t know what was going on and couldn’t understand what was said in her classes.   My heart went out to her.  Stories like this seem to be quite common among deaf people.  Most of the time the parents are hearing and very few actually learn ASL.  That really blows my mind.  I can’t imagine not learning whatever I needed to to be able to communicate effectively with my child and do whatever I could to help them feel (and be) included in as much family life and social life as possible.  

Things are also going well with the diet and exercise plan.  It is working for Chet and I both and we are finding foods we especially enjoy and workouts that we also enjoy (at least to a certain extent!).  I’m on the lookout for main dish recipes that are low calorie and nutritious so if anyone has one they know is good, please let me know.  One of the things that has an impact on the dosing and effectiveness of warfarin (generic name for Coumadin) is leafy green vegetables and any other veggies that have vitamin K.  Part of my healthier eating plan involves increasing my fruit and veggie consumption and also includes some salads and other vegetables on the “list.”  It did, in fact, make a difference in my INR number (bloodwork) last week.  The clinic told me that it’s ok to have them, as long as I am consistent, so now I have to make sure that I eat around 2 cups of leafy green veggies or their equivalent every day.  I’ll have another blood draw tomorrow to make sure my numbers are where they need to be and there isn’t any other adjustment to my dosage that needs to be made.  I’m looking forward to my follow up doctor’s appointments (mostly next week) to see if I still have any blood clots and if my heart is beating normally again, and to discuss my sleep study and the results of that.  I think I am still have some irregular heart beats.  I’m hoping that if that’s true, it will show up in the echocardiogram.  Maybe I’m wrong about that.  I hope so.  It makes me pay close attention to the doctor’s instructions when I exercise.  I sure don’t want to have additional heart problems.  Hopefully it won’t be long with diet and exercise that my heart will respond in a positive way and will be functioning effectively and normally once again.

In some ways, it feels like I don’t have much to say on my blog -I guess that’s a good thing.  It means that I’m not feeling particularly stressed or dealing with major changes in my hearing.   I feel like I’ve made the adjustment to my new hearing level and am functioning quite well all things considered.  I guess I will just have to wait and see what God has in store for me in this area in the future.  

I am several days into my new diet and exercise plan and so far it is going great.  I have been pleasantly surprised at how many foods fit into my plan.  There are so many great options!  I’m truly enjoying this so far, and at this point I have plenty of calories to work with in my daily allowance.  I know that number will become smaller as I lose weight and it will become more difficult to stay within the limits, but right now it is not that hard.  It’s really just a matter of being aware of what I’m doing and looking for good options to fit the guidelines.  

I have also begun working out again.  My goal is 5 days per week.  My doctor recommended 30 minutes a day (he says that’s all that is needed for good health and that many people overdo it).  He told me to do what I could (even if it was only 5 or 10 minutes) but to do it consistently and eventually I’d be there.  The specialist I’m seeing for the blood clots told me not to allow my heart rate to exceed 130 right now.  My heartbeat was irregular during the blood clot stuff (which is what they would expect) but I think he wants me to be careful until they confirm that it is back to normal.  I have another ecocardiogram next month.  I have been wearing my heart rate monitor to keep track of that as I work out.  I was very happy to find that I can do 30 minutes with those limits on a treadmill and in the pool without too much trouble.  Believe it or not, it still feels like a workout, but a doable one.  That will help me keep going and not dread every workout quite so much.  Right now it actually feels good to be moving again.

 Yesterday, I asked Chet to go for a walk outside with me for my official workout.  We knew that my pace wouldn’t be a workout at all for him, but thought it might be fun.  We live in the country and there isn’t a sidewalk.  It’s a gravel/dirt road and once you get off our small street cars are going 45-55mph – I don’t generally like walking outside at home, but it was a beautiful day and I thought it would be fun with him.  I have to say it was a real eye-opener for me.  There is a huge difference from walking for 30 minutes on a treadmill with no hills and a set speed and walking in our neighborhood with many hills and very uneven terrain.  I was really shocked at just how difficult that walk was for me.  We didn’t go far at all, but it was quite difficult to keep my heart rate at 130.  We walked 15 minutes out and I had to rest several times to get my rate down where it needed to be.  It took much longer than that to get back home (35 minutes vs. the 15 it took to get to what I thought would be midway and a good turn around point).  Apparently the heart wants to keep going at a higher rate as the workout progresses.  I had to stop quite a few times to get my heart rate to drop back down to 130  and had to move very slowly to try to keep it from spiking back up. By the end, it wanted to jump above that number every time I moved.    I was truly exhausted when I got back home.  I guess you could say I got an interval workout without intending to get an interval workout.  I also noticed that my muscles felt a little shaky by the end.  They were definitely fatigued.  I’d say for now that was also a strength exercise, too!  That experience was shocking to me and a stark reminder  of just how sick my body is after all that has happened this past year and how seriously I need to work on getting better.  On a happier note, I did burn over 600 calories!

I haven’t noticed any changes in my hearing since my last post.  I’ve had some “popping” which I also had during the times my hearing changed in the past year, but nothing major has happened at this point.  My former ASL instructor has invited me to audit another class she is beginning next week and I think I am going to take her up on it.  It will be great for me to review and practice and possibly make some new aquaintances.

On another note, I learned last night of the death of someone I knew a number of years ago.  She was only 47 years old and in basically the same place in life that I am – married the same number of years, has 3 children, 2 of whom  are married and has a 21 month old grandbaby and another due in Sept.  She died in a tragic car accident.  I am again reminded of just how fleeting life is and how important it is to live each day as if it could be your last.  It could be. She was a faithful christian.  I’m sad that she’s gone and my heart goes out to her family, but I also know that she finished her race victorious.  It is a reminder  how important it is to stay faithful to the end and to make sure that we are living the way God wants us to and using our lives to serve Him and bring glory to Him.  Fix the things that need to be fixed; focus on what is truly important;  love your family and others in your life; serve; persevere.  These are the thoughts going through my mind today. 

After a long absence, I’m back in cyberspace!  The trip to Oklahoma for my uncle’s funeral went well.  We had a wonderful memorial for him and I felt it was a fitting way to honor his life.  It was good to see so much extended family.  Chet and the kids were able to get quite a bit of work done to help mom which was good.  I was sick the entire time with a bad chest cold, so wasn’t able to help much at all, but was glad to be there in spite of that.  It was also wonderful to spend some time with Kinsey since she’s still living in Florida.  Now we are home and it feels good to be here to stay for a while!  I’ve been busy nesting and getting settled back in.  I’ve been gone a lot more than I’ve been home for the last 5 weeks or so!  

I’m happy to report that my breathing has improved considerably.  I’m out of shape after a year of not doing much physically, but I’m able to do things without getting out of breath like I was most of last year and that feels great!   I have more energy, am sleeping much better and just feel better in general.   I’m also not sure what to think about my hearing.  There have been a number of times over the last  couple of weeks that I’ve had to turn my hearing aids down because they were just too loud.  I wonder if my hearing is fluctuating a bit and sometimes getting better instead of worse, but I don’t know if that is even a realistic possibility.  Of course I know that God can do things whether they are likely or “possible” according to our medical knowledge or not.  I just don’t know what to think.  It’s all so subjective and affected by so many variables that it’s hard to say what’s going on.  I guess time will tell.  The last two times I lost hearing it was 2-4 weeks after I had a bad cold.  I’m curious what will happen now, since I just had a bad cold again.  Time will tell here, too, I suppose.  A new factor in that is that I am now on blood thinners and using the CPAP.  I don’t know if those things could change the outcome or not.

Cody officially moved into his apartment this weekend.  We are now empty nesters for the time being.  It feels different.  Not bad or good, just different.  The kids have been gone a lot more than they’ve been home for quite some time now, but knowing they aren’t coming home at all is strange.  I have some nostalgic “mommy” moments where I think about my little babies growing up and wonder where the time has gone, but mostly I’m very happy for them and looking forward to seeing where their lives go as adults.  They have all been amazing blessings to us!  They are all faithful christians and responsible, caring adults making good choices in their lives.  What more could a mom ask for?

Chet and I have decided to start a calorie-based diet today.  I’ve had to spend quite a bit of time familiarizing myself with how many calories foods have and figuring out where to start and come up with ideas for meals, snacks, etc.  I have always had an idea of what foods are high calorie vs. low calorie, but not much idea of the exact numbers for figuring into your daily limit.  It will take some time to get used to it, but I don’t think it will take too long.  I am also going to start working out again today.   Per my doctor’s orders, it will be pretty minimal, but it will be a start.  Today I will clean out the cupboards and get rid of any food that would not be good for us and our plan, and work on some meal planning for the rest of the week.  

I’m getting really excited about Cody and Jessi’s wedding!  It’s only a little over 5 weeks away!  I’m also looking forward to Kinsey coming home then.  Don’t know for sure how long she will stay, but it will be wonderful to have her back!  

That’s what is going on in my world at the moment!  I will keep you updated on things and now that I’m home again, should be blogging more regularly again.

I arrived home last night around 11pm (from a week-long visit to Florida), to a house full of balloons and flowers for me! My husband outdid himself with 4 large bouquets of Irises from our garden and 2 large bouquets of balloons in the living room. When I went in our bedroom, there was another large bouquet of balloons waiting for me there, too! He wanted to surprise me for my birthday! I guess it’s official – I am now 50 years old! My birthday is today and we’ll be celebrating with our children tonight with a family dinner in Minneapolis.

My trip to Florida was wonderful! I missed my hubby, but was willing to “represent” the Minnesota family,along with Kinsey, for our niece’s graduations. Chet’s parents picked me up from the airport in Ft. Lauderdale and several people stopped by the house to say hello that same evening. It was also a church night, so I got to see lots of friends there. I had to do some experimenting to see what would work the best for me to hear, and found that my neckloop does not work with their assistive listening devices, but my personal one worked well (that’s what I do at our home congregation). I still don’t understand nearly as much if I can’t lip-read and I was seated in an area where I wasn’t able to do that very well, so I missed some, but learned what I would need to do for the other times I would be there. It rained or was overcast most of the week, and there were warnings about rip-tides and currents the whole time, so I didn’t go to the beach to swim. My niece’s graduation party was near the beach, so I did get to see it at least! 🙂 We had a wonderful time celebrating their big day with friends and family. We also had a family party for Kinsey while we were there. It was a good gathering to honor her! I have a friend in Florida who is an ASL interpreter, and she spent time with me just about every day! We had a great time and she spent a lot of it teaching me signs, answering questions, and practicing with me and encouraging me! The church there offers interpreting and I was able to take advantage of that opportunity several times. It was such a great learning experience! I was able to see some of the things we talked about in class in a real life situation. I was able to see the difference between singing, speaking, and praying. I was able to learn some new vocabulary that is used in the church setting. I don’t know enough yet for that to help me a lot in understanding what was being said, but since I could also hear much of it, it was a great combo.

I have found that I am really functioning quite well with the hearing aid the clinic loaned me recently. I was surprised at how well I did in Florida, even in group situations. My testing showed that I have 55% word comprehension with the hearing aid, but with lip reading I believe I am doing much better than that. It has me thinking that I should probably wait to have the cochlear implants done until I have another episode. I’ve heard stories about people who have done great with them, and also of people who have done very poorly with them and choose not to even use them. I know the doctors and audiologists say that natural hearing is always better, so I think that since I’m functioning so well (MUCH better than I was even 2 or 3 weeks ago) that I should keep that for as long as I can(remember that when you have the cochlear implant surgery most people lose all residual natural hearing they had left and are profoundly deaf without the implant). I guess the question remains whether I should go ahead and have the ear that is not aidable implanted and have the hearing aid for the other or just wait and do both together if/when the time comes. I’ll have to look into that further, but I have time to figure it out.

While I was in Florida, my Uncle Jim died. He has had many serious complications from his diabetes for the last 2 years. We got to visit with him while we were in Oklahoma a couple of weeks ago. I’m so glad. He didn’t suffer at the end and my mom and sister and niece were able to be with him as he passed. We’ll be heading to Oklahoma again next week for his memorial service and burial.

It seems like so much has happened in such a short amount of time. I guess that’s because it really has! It’s only been 2 months since my most recent hearing loss episode. Since that time I’ve had to work at adjusting to that, educate myself about cochlear implants, deal with the insurance company about that, make decisions about the specific device I might want, try to increase my knowledge of ASL, was hospitalized in April, went on Coumadin and had to educate myself about that and about blood clots, had a sleep study, started using a CPAP and had to educate myself about that, had many doctor appointments and blood draws, planned 3 grad parties for my daughter, lost my uncle (who I have been close to), traveled to Oklahoma and Florida, all while physically recovering from the blood clots in both my legs and my lungs and from having been on steroids for nearly a year. Whewwww…….no wonder I’m tired. After next week’s trip it will be nice to have a little down time before people start arriving for the wedding in early August.

I know this is more of a “catch up on what’s going on” post than a particularly thoughtful or insightful one. Several have told me they like to keep up with it all, so here it is! I have a lot to do today to take care of things after having been away (like pay bills!) but I will do the things that are a priority and also spend some time relaxing and enjoying my birthday! I suppose I’ll have to change out of my pjs at some point! Thanks for checking in on my blog! Please pray for my continued recovery and for safe travels next week for my family and comfort for those grieving the loss of my uncle.

We made it to Oklahoma safe and sound and had a great visit with family there.  It started out with a 14 hour drive to my sister’s house in Edmond.  Owen, my 12 month old grandson, did pretty well on the drive.  He didn’t sleep much and his mamma worked hard to keep him occupied and happy, but overall he did well.  We visited with my sister’s family that night, then the next morning my Tulsa family arrived for brunch.  My cousin, Julie, was in Tulsa and planning to fly back home to Texas that day, but changed her flight to leave from Oklahoma city (OKC) instead so she could see all of us!  What a great surprise!  We all enjoyed our visit, then headed to downtown OKC for my niece, Averi’s graduation.  It was at a convention center downtown and she was one of 38 valedictorians!  So proud of her!  It was fun to watch her graduate, then we had a celebration back at the house in her honor.  Later that night we headed to my mom’s house in Talala, about a 2 hour drive.  We loved visiting my mom’s church on Sunday – we feel like they are family to us, too!  We so enjoyed seeing friends, and had a nice bonus – we found out that a couple we knew back during our college semester in Italy are members there now!  Howard and Doris Bybee – Howard was the director of the bible school  where we lived that semester in Florence, so we were around them quite a bit.  One of our favorite stories is how Howard called Chet and I into his office one day and spoke with us quite seriously about considering team mission work (as a married couple!) after we finished school.  We had only been dating for a couple of weeks at that point, so I think we had the “deer in the headlights” look about us!  We told Howard the story at church Sunday, and he laughed and said he must have thought we were already a married couple when we arrived that semester!  Maybe he could see something we didn’t know yet! 🙂  He was tickled to know that we are planning, Lord willing, to do full-time mission work after Chet retires in less than 4 years!  It was so much fun to see them again!  That evening, we had a family dinner at a Thai restaurant in Tulsa to celebrate Kinsey’s graduation with our Oklahoma family.  We had fun there, and then headed to my brother’s house and had a little early family birthday party for me!  They all sang Happy Birthday and also signed it to me!  It really touched my heart – apparently they sent a link around with the song in sign language so they could all practice!  Kinsey and I each had a cupcake with our baby pictures on it!  Another fun night!  The rest of the week was spent visiting, playing games, and relaxing.  We had some excitement on Monday with the tornadoes in the area.  Thankfully our family was all safe, in spite of the fact that a tornado touched down only 3 miles from where we were.  We were heart-broken and inspired by the events in Moore, OK that day along with the rest of the country.  We arrived back home on Thursday evening tired, but having had a wonderful time.   Friday was a busy day trying to get ready for the big graduation party here.  I had lots of help from Kinsey and Cody around the house and that made a huge difference!  We celebrated Jessi’s birthday as a family at a favorite Indian restaurant and then had dessert at home.  Yesterday we had somewhere around 45 friends and family over to help celebrate our sweet daughter’s high school and college graduation (she completed a 2 year AA degree)!  We are so proud of her, and it was a wonderful day of fellowship and food and celebrating her accomplishments!  Now my focus shifts to laundry and packing for a trip to Florida on Wednesday!  Lots to do between now and then, but can’t wait to spend some time with the Florida family and to celebrate my 2 niece’s graduations.  

I am adjusting quite well to the CPAP, I believe.   I have found the right spot for the mask to fit comfortably and barely even notice that I have it on.  While in OK I had some pretty bad muscle pain in my back – I think it’s from sleeping in positions I’m not used to and on beds I’m not used to.  I’m hoping that will improve once I settle back into my normal routine at home.  I’m still considering which diet plan I will be implementing when I get back.  I’m leaning right now toward counting calories and working at getting the right mix of protein, healthy fats and still keeping my carbs low, although not nearly as low as Atkin’s requires.  I plan to start working out in the pool at Lifetime Fitness then as well.  I feel like walking or working out in the water are the best ways right now for me to get moving.  I have a heart rate monitor that I can wear(can be worn in the water), so it will make it easy for me to stick with the guidelines the doctor game me about my heart rate while working out.  I’m still pretty short of breath – not as bad as it was around my hospitalization, but more like it was all last year.  I’m hoping that regular workouts will dramatically improve that.   

I am feeling blessed to have the opportunity to spend so much time with family and also feeling quite blessed to have raised 3 wonderful children!  Kinsey is our “baby” so we are at the end of the phase of our life where we are raising children in our home.  Now we get to relate to them as adults and enjoy watching them move into the next phase of their lives.   It’s such a content and wonderful feeling to see them all standing strong as faithful christians and responsible hard-working adults!  We are so very blessed!

My husband keeps teasing me about looking like Darth Vader’s sister, so I figured that would be a good title for my entry today!  Yesterday was the day I went to be outfitted with my new CPAP equipment.  For the uninitiated, that involves a two hour appointment where they introduce you to the machine that provides the pressure and a humidifier that works with ti, as well as the other attachments.  I definitely need the humidifier as I am a person who is dry almost all the time – to the point that I get gaggy when I scuba dive and breathe through a regulator or if I’m already less hydrated than usual then have to exert myself (ie running for a train in Europe!).  I also get too dry from something as simple as turning the ceiling fan on medium instead of low during the night.  Anyhow, no doubt the humidifier is important on the CPAP for me.  There are a couple of different types of tubing you can get, but I got one that helps regulate the temp of the humidity coming through the system for me.  Then there were 4 different types of masks that I tried.  Any of them would work for my needs, it was just a matter of choosing one that felt most comfortable and fit my face the best.  I had one picked out that seemed pretty good, then I tried the last one just to be sure and I was shocked at how much better the last one was for me.  Suddenly, I wasn’t even sure if the machine was on (it was!) because it was so comfortable and no leaks!   It was hands down the best fit for me.  I found out that I had 103 obstructed breathing incidents per hour during my sleep study which means I am considered to have severe sleep apnea!  Wow!  That was a shocker.  Apparently I don’t generally have complete cessation of breathing, but significant obstruction.  During the study I never entered REM sleep until I had the CPAP going.  I wonder if that means I haven’t had REM sleep in years?  I don’t know how that works but it will be something to ask the doctor on my follow up.  I know REM sleep is important, so I don’t know if you can go for years without it.  I need to study up on what happens during REM sleep to find out how that could have/has affected my health.  

Last night after I got home, I made sure that I could connect all of the pieces of the CPAP machine properly and get it all working for me. The person that programmed if for me told me to put it on when I am reading in bed before I go to sleep.  There is something called ramping where it starts at a slightly lower pressure than you need, but gradually builds (in a preset amount of time) to full pressure.  They set the ramp for me at 30 minutes.  When I went to bed, I dutifully put my mask on when I was supposed to, made sure my heater for the humidity was on and at the proper setting, and waited for the auto start to begin.  Once it did, I went to put on my reading glasses and realized that I can’t wear them with the mask.  There is a plastic piece that rests on my forehead and comes down my nose!  I was reading on my Nook, so I adjusted the font to read without my glasses for the time.  I will wait to put it on until after I read tonight and change the ramp time to 15 minutes instead!  I was fairly comfortable using the machine.  It takes a little getting used to – for me it was mostly getting used to having something on your head and face and being connected with a long tube.  I was able to sleep on my back with just one pillow and also roll over onto my side during the night without any problem.  My back was sore today when I woke up, but I’m guessing that’s just because I’m not used to sleeping that way.  It’s weird, but when the machine first started I noticed significant pressure and adjusted my breathing accordingly, but as it ramped up higher and higher, it seemed to get easier rather than harder.  I know the pressure increases, so I guess you just get used to it and don’t really notice it anymore.  There was even a time or two I wondered if the machine was still on, but when I opened my mouth or moved the mask it obviously was.  It just didn’t seem like the pressure was all that much at that point.  I guess that’s part of why that mask is good for me – it’s pretty comfortable.  Chet worked a midnight shift last night, so he came home around 6am.  He told me that the he didn’t hear the machine at all.  Obviously I don’t either, so that part won’t be a problem for us.  Chet is also a little hard of hearing – not as much as me, but some, so I guess that works in our favor!  

I am not sure how much I’ll be posting over the next few days.  Tomorrow my lovely daughter graduates from college with a 2 year degree and we are gearing up for that.  We also leave for Oklahoma on Friday morning so there is much to do to get ready for that trip.  I’ll try to post from Oklahoma at least a time or two, but can’t promise.  I will be taking my CPAP along and also trying to keep my diet consistent on the trip so that my Coumadin will remain effective (oh yes, AND sporting my lovely black compression stockings! ).  Looking forward to a fun trip with Chet, Kinsey, Jessi, Nicole and Owen and to visiting with the Oklahoma family and celebrating my niece’s graduation and also Kinsey’s later in the week.  Lots to do before we leave, especially since Kinsey’s big grad party here will be the Saturday after we return and I will only have one day to get ready for that!

After the grad party here, I will have a few days to regroup and then I will be heading to Florida for my twin nieces graduation parties.  Looking forward to visiting with everyone down there, too.  It will be a busy time, but so good to see everyone!