“Robots on helium” is the best description of what things initially sounded like that I can think of! Somehow I forgot to mention the “helium” part when I wrote about my experience yesterday. That was one of the first things I noticed, immediately followed by very “mechanical.” I was thinking about this today and realized that God prepared me perfectly for this point in my journey through all that happened over the past year and a half. There was a time when my natural hearing sounded very mechanical and very monotone – there was no deviation at all in tone. It was just like the old movie War Games where the computer would ask: “Can we play a game?” in a completely monotone “voice.” That period of time lasted just a couple of weeks and then with steroids, I regained the more normal sound to my hearing – I didn’t regain the decibels that I actually lost from that particular episode, but the quality of what I could hear was restored. I’m bringing this up now because I remember what that was like, and I remember being thankful that I could still understand words and communicate, but what a loss it was to lose the richness and variations in the human voice. What I am hearing now sounds mechanical in the same way but I have a much better range of sounds with the CI than I did back then, and it is not monotone at all. I can also hear some of what the natural voice sounds like underneath the distortion this time. Before, there was no difference between a man’s voice or a woman’s and no discernible difference for me between people’s voices that I have known for years. Now there definitely is a difference and I THINK I could do a pretty good job of telling who is who even with my eyes closed. What that means is that this completely artificial input, sounds much better for me even as distorted as it is right now, than my natural hearing did at that point in time. I will likely see quite an improvement in this with my new device over time and with practice. It makes it very easy for me to feel excited about what I am hearing, instead of disappointed or upset like some people implant recipients are. I also experienced what it is like to be functionally deaf all of the time for a while, and now it is that way when I take my hearing aid or CI off, so I can fully appreciate what an amazing job this device does and how much communication can take place with it. I have years of practice at reading lips and have learned to do that pretty well – it is helping me a great deal now. So far I am not feeling distressed or frustrated – I do have to work more at communicating with the CI than I do with my hearing aid, but I am so much further along than anyone would have expected, that it is much more thrilling than frustrating. I know how to handle the situations that have arisen so far. God prepared me well to have some perspective about what this device really is doing for me. I’m so thankful! This adjustment is going very smoothly because of the way God prepared me for it. Another way that all things are working together for the good! I have to say that even though I do hear sounds with more clarity with my hearing aid right now, I am actually getting more sounds with the CI. They are not yet quite as clear, but this is only my first full day of using them and the audiologist only activated some of the tones it is capable of. I believe we will be adding to that tomorrow. There is lots of potential and I can see the possibility if I continue to improve that I will be hearing better and with similar “natural” quality with the cochlear implant than with the hearing aid. I’m not sure about that, but I have no qualms at all about the idea of living with two CIs someday if needed. I can see it being great!

I am getting the hang of how to use the equipment I have now. It doesn’t take very long to get familiar with it, but since yesterday I have learned how to properly get the device on my ear and the magnet to connect in the right spot, how to change programs and adjust volume, how to charge and change my batteries, how to use the new drying box at night to remove any moisture from the CI and keep it functioning well, and how to charge up the ComPilot which allows me to connect to other devices including bluetooth! None of these things are difficult at all, you just have to do it all a time or two to get the hang of it.

My homework for today was to try out the 2 programs my audiologist set and see if one works better for me than the other. It’s a difficult call. Program one sounds more like natural sound to me, although there is a little bit of a “hollow” sound to it. I am finding, though, that words might be slightly less distinct than with the other program. Program 2 sounds much more distorted than number 1. It is especially noticeable when I first turn it on. After a while it is less noticeable and I’m not as aware of it, but if I go to the other for a time and switch back to it, it is very noticeable again. Particularly that “helium” sound. In spite of that, I think the words are a little more crisp and clear. I seem to be able to understand more speech with it and sometimes can understand a few words without lip-reading. Oddly, when I was watching tv, I felt like I might have better understanding with Program 1. I still definitely needed captions. I would not be able to follow a tv show without them much at all. I can understand and hear more distinct speech on the tv than I can with my hearing aid, but still not enough. I suspect that will improve a great deal. I don’t know if it will mean I won’t need captions anymore. Most CI users still do continue to need them.

I only looked over some of my paperwork briefly late last night but I have a whole folder full of websites I can go to for practice on my word comprehension. The audiologist suggested that I go to a library and check out some books on CD and devote some time daily to listening while following the text (she said children’s books are best to start out – they are simpler and the speakers usually speak fairly slowly and distinctly; they also tend to follow the text word for word which is important at this stage). She also recommended that I spend some time reading aloud to help me get used to how my own voice sounds. That reminds me of another way I feel God prepared me ahead of time for this – I have lots of experience with adjusting to changes in how my own voice sounds to me and working on my volume for others and sometimes keeping my voice sounding as natural as possible. I’ve done this with speaking and also with singing! It feels normal and comfortable to me to be making this adjustment again. I LOVE seeing how God works through His providence like that! Chet made the comment to me today that there is a difference in how my voice sounds when I am not wearing any device (and am therefore basically deaf) and when I have my CI on. Without a device, he says my voice becomes more nasal – that is exactly what happened (only more drastically) when I was deaf for a few weeks. I find that really interesting. It is also strange – I can’t tell any difference at all! I also find it strange to hear that my voice has begun to do that again now that I have begun to use a CI. Why would that be? The only thing I can think of is that I did lose some hearing with the surgery and maybe it was enough to make a difference with this, even though I wasn’t using that ear much. I was getting some sound, it just wasn’t usable. I’m not sure what else it could be. Interesting question to me.

Tomorrow I have an appointment at 1pm to work more on programming my Naida (the sound processor I have now) and then I will also get my Neptune (my second processor which is waterproof) and there will be activating to be done with that, another set of equipment and tools, and since it does not go behind the ear but is structured differently, there will be more learning to be done about how to use it and care for it properly! I also have to know how to change parts like filters, cords, and covers on both sets. It will be another busy day but I am looking forward to it.